Clutter. Anxiety can lead to clutter + clutter can lead to anxiety.
Clutter WAY overstimulates our systems (visual, olfactory and tactile), causing our whole being to work overtime on stimuli that aren't necessary or important.
It draws ALL our attention away from where we should be fixing our attention.
Clutter makes it nearly impossible to relax, both physically and mentally.
It constantly sends messages to our brains that we still have a huge to-do list.
It magnifies levels of anxiety because the idea of pile clearing is overwhelming
It creates loads of guilt and embarrassment, particularly when someone drops by unexpectedly.
It frazzles and exhausts us by making it hard to find what we need, when we need it.
In Life at Home in The Twenty-First Century, anthropologists, social scientists, and archaeologists found a recognizable link between the over-abundance of household objects ( "stressful" home environments) and a person’s health. Women's long-term well-being was drastically impacted. (Men, not so much… apparently messes aren’t as stressful to them as a whole). They measured cortisol levels over a number of days and in cluttered or messy homes, they found a WAY higher rate of depressed moods were evident. Conscious consuming is key!
Why? We simply have too much surrounding us. An average room has over 2,000 visible objects in it. It's no wonder we're over-stimulated and anxious!
Getting rid of things can be emotional work. Even when you gear yourself up to declutter you can find yourself stuck in an emotional funk. The sentiment of the items (after all you kept it for a reason), guilt about the value of the items (shouldn’t I sell this, yep, let me put it back to sell later) and other factors can make the actual purging process slow down tremendously, if not halt it altogether. But we MUST find a way to just “Let it go, let it go….” (sing it if you must) in order to gain back a sense of calm + peace.
And hear this… Clearing clutter is not the same as organizing it to make it look pretty. Purchase all the bins you want, you can still be overwhelmed by TOO MANY + TOO MUCH. For those riddled with anxious levels of clutter you need to start at ground level. Making it look more managed temporarily doesn’t address the core issue of collecting or being unable to part with the items, which means you will just continue on with more of the same. For lasting change, you must PUSH OUT the clutter- and not just a scattering of items. You must do enough work that everything has its place and its purpose. Wait, let me switch that around into the proper order. So that everything has its purpose in your home and then find its place to reside and be easily found when needed.
With ALL of the family loss our tribe has experienced over the last 15 years I have had my share of holding tight to what was left… The STUFF, whether they held memories for me or not they were once held by my loved ones. That was the closest I could get to them this side of heaven and so I displayed it or tucked it (shoved it) into a storage place. It was chaotic, crammed and sad. It was out of control and boy was I stressed for a good decade. Thank goodness I found some things to help me start the process of decluttering and finding my way back to sanity (and boy did I try a host of things).
Here are some of my favorites - let’s call them TIMELESS CLASSICS:
The Slob Sisters introduced me to a great practical, go-get-it, purging system. AND they have this incredible file card system addressing daily, weekly, monthly and annual, bite sized chore lists that were so easy to use with the kids. I’d let them pick whatever daily card they wanted to do that day. At one point the kids were eager to be first to the file box to pick their card before the others and get cleaning. Say what? It also covers some of the easily forgotten seasonal tasks around the home. LOVE this one! So thankful it is still in print.
Get Your Act Together: A 7-Day Get-Organized Program For The Overworked, Overbooked, and Overwhelmed
The other fun and extremely helpful system came from
Sink Reflections by the Flylady
She taught me that the time of day can matter, and a host of other things. Who knew making the sink sparkle at night could really make me feel better in the morning? She did!
These two may seem a bit outdated in visual design BUT they are a timeless and trusted resource that will really give you a terrific foundation for detoxing the chaos in your home.
Which leads me to the main point, it’s important to find the way that works for how you are wired. Decluttering is KEY for ALL, no doubt. But how you accomplish, how you maintain it, finding your creative routine is critical to staying successful. AND identifying your mental process that contributes to the clutter party is essential.
Find your grove + your routine. Here is an interesting one I ran across that was posted in Apartment Therapy. It is all about a weekend cleaning routine, leaving your workdays a bit more relaxed. I imagine this would be a great concept for those with stressful jobs, where you just need to come home and relax at the end of the day. Do a little self care and catch those quality Zzzzzz’s.
Weekend Cleaning Only routine posted over on Apartment Therapy: ( Check it out here )
There are a lot of options out there… possibly too many. So don’t get your brain spinning too much on finding the perfect one before you start. Start with one and take away what works well for you. Then dig into another if you need to tweak it up a bit.
And just a reminder as you are going through the home detox motions: The STUFF is not the person. Whether you cling to things to remind you of days gone by, relationships lost, or because you think it contributes to your value… those are all lies. If you truly love the item to your core, keep it. Like if you would pay a pretty penny for it because you just love it that much, then yes, by all means let it spark joy for you. Otherwise free yourself from the bondage of uncontrolled THINGS contributing to a toxic home and/or mindset.
Most importantly. Have grace for yourself. It is going to be okay, you ARE okay. Take a deep breath and remind yourself that you are love-able just the way you are. Messy, chaotic, frazzled, feeling stuck, anxious. Whatever led you to this article I hope you walk away feeling encouraged to just take baby steps and move forward little by little. Don’t you worry, you’ll get there. And if you need a little extra help along the way I have posted some recipes for essential oil blends that will help your body to feel supported and relaxed. They are SO UPLIFTING that I just find myself doing BIG DEEP BREATHING. Well, the benefits of deep breathing, there is another whole post right there. For now, trust me, diffuse or roll these blends of essentials…. your emotions will thank you!
Let’s make the decision to be mindful de-toxers + conscious consumers from here on out.
Be well,
Kimber