Today I allowed myself a few minutes to dig back into my instagram posts from the last two years in order to allow myself to see where I have been and how far I have come. Because here is the deal, I have been feeling a bit stagnant, immobile, stuck in the thick of the grief. However, I remembered that a few months ago God reminded me how these seasons serve as a purpose to get us to the next hill to rise up on.
In October he showed me this:
“God has been carrying me in this valley. It is barely any effort of my own. Every time I try I fall flat. I just don’t seem to have the energy or mental space to sit and process with Him. Or maybe I am avoiding, skirting around and dodging the deep things? Not sure. Time will tell. But the question that keeps coming with my awareness of my avoidance is “Do I trust?” Is that what is stopping me from sitting in His presence?⠀
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I’ll be honest here- additionally Church has been a hard place to step into, so many memories. So, so many memories. Attending, leading, dreaming, building a family together, and healing. Healing happens in church, healing happens with God. ⠀
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Thankful for my kiddos yesterday- they all decided to gather and go... and I walked through the doors with them. And it was good. That first step gave me the strength to go with a couple of my kids to the worship event last night as well. SO GOOD. ⠀
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Which then led to me cracking open my Bible study this morning and journaling a bit as well. During that time God showed me this picture very clearly. Yes, the valleys and dips are tough... but He holds us tight by his right hand and lifts us up to higher ground. EVERY DIP + VALLEY CHANGES US, STRENGTHENS US, gives us a clearer perspective to be sympathetic, caring, loving, and world changers for the LOVE of Christ. ⠀
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For the LOVE let’s grab hands and go do hard things together.”
Sometimes looking back has its advantages. Just be careful you don’t stay there too long and get stuck.
Be well,
Kimber