Unfelt Grief | How to Honor Your Sadness + Process Through It

Pain, it’s natural for us to want to avoid it, right? Our built in avoidance techniques shift into gear before we even recognize them. This leads us to a place of trapped emotions. These emotions can wreak havoc in our mind and bodies.

I don’t know what events lead you here. But for me the alarms signals began blaring after I lost my husband. I had been through a lot of loss + hardship prior to. Unfortunately, I thought I was handling the past events fine. As I have been learning new ways to process my sadness and recognize triggers old stuff has emerged as well. My body was keeping the score.

So in this post I want to WELCOME YOU to a simple practice of honoring your sadness. Helping you to see that you don’t need to be afraid of it or press it down. I want you to have freedom from the fear of sadness leaking out or erupting by practicing ways to welcome it. With the practice of holding sadness sessions, by allowing it and moving it through, it will help release a lot of the pressure of the unexpected outbursts. Oh, triggers will still bring some tears but they may not have the same energy behind them and you will know what helps you to move through it. This really helps, truly.

You want to start by creating a safe space and protected time. Someplace you feel comfortable and won’t be easily interrupted. You may want music playing, essential oils diffusing, a candle lit, a cozy blanket, or the fresh air with grass underneath you. Just find space somewhere that you feel safe enough.

The next thing I do is grab some scriptures and read them asking God for his clarity and truth to be present as I begin to feel and process. I invite Him into the space with me. This reminds me that I am NOT ALONE, He is leading.

Then I grab an essential oil and put a drop in the palm of my hand and rub my palms together. While my brain is preparing to settle into the memories or situation I am doing my deep breathing. In through my nose for 5 seconds, exhale through my nose for 7-11 seconds. and repeat, and repeat, and repeat. Eventually I drop my hands, my eyes are closed and tears are streaming. (Keep the tissue close by and make sure the oils aren’t on your finger tips for the tear wipes.)

Often during this time Jesus arrives on the scene and shows me something new about it. Not always, but often. When that I like to journal down the notes.

This process seems simple enough, doesn’t it? Just wait until you make a commitment to start practicing this and you will see how powerful it is. God is a creative God and as you begin trying this He will show you new things to try and do in response.

The goal of this isn’t to circle and spin in one thought, it is to learn how to move through them. These hurts are stored in our memory banks but how we respond to them makes a big difference in how we show up in the world. If you feel stuck you may need professional help to learn some new techniques or skills. Don’t be afraid of that either. Seeking help is one of the bravest things you can do and it is such a terrific reminder that you are not in this alone. People care and want to help you!

I am also listing oils specifically helpful for processing sadness. These essential oils can do a multitude of things but today I am sharing a list of them for emotional support with sadness. Breathe is exceptionally good for this particular practice as it opens the airways and clears thinking.

• Hope essential oil blend

• Rose essential oil

• Console essential oil blend

• Citrus Bliss essential oil blend

• Ylang Ylang essential oil

• Siberian fir essential oil

• Peppermint essential oil

• Eucalyptus essential oil

These are terrific natural options for helping your mind to relax, release, feel and move through.

I’m praying for you and your process. I know God is with you in this, and so am I.

Grief Serum Recipe: a simple + kind nightly routine towards healing.

Grief is sneaky.

Grief is heavy.

Grief is exhausting.

Grief can deplete us to a place where we barely recognize ourselves.

And here is the thing…

Sometimes it wears us down to a level that not only impacts our state of mind but our bodies and potentially our belief systems as well. We may end up believing we don’t have anything in us to pull out of the pit we are currently in. That is a flat-out LIE though… even in the depths of grief, we can still continue to take steps towards healing.

That is what this post is all about. Having a super simple tool on hand that feels darn good, is relaxing, and helps you take steps towards healing.

I have found at the end of the day, during the time that pillow talk would typically happen, I needed a way to care for myself and remind myself I was going to be okay. Somehow, my evening process with this simple technique was not only caring for me but it also helped me to remember I was wanting to show up better and stronger for my future.

Note: You aren’t limited to using it at night, these tools and techniques can be used any time of day, whenever grief overwhelm strikes. Many of the oils do assist

Let me tell you a little bit about why I chose these specific essential oils included in my Grief Serum Recipe. Each one provides essential oils that help provide emotional stability, promote movement throughout the mind + body, and are especially good for the skin. I am telling you these are grief-busting oils. They target the areas that grief has tried to make me out, and I am guessing you as well.

Look, I am not saying this is a “do this and BAM, IT’S INSTANTLY BETTER.” But what I am saying is it truly is a soothing technique that does a lot more than just feel good. Whether you feel them or not your body and mind are responding, and with consistent use there will be substantial change. And yes, how it does work for me instantly is in the reminder that I care about myself, I care about my future, I care about how I process my grief and move forward.

I have a graphic posted with the recipe, the number on each essential oil bottle is how many drops to put in the 10ml roller bottle, and then top with baobab oil. You can use another low-comedogenic oil but this one is an absolute favorite of mine.

Make sure you check out the graphics I have posted here to see more on the oil-specific benefits. And feel free to do your own check on each one, you will be BLOWN AWAY. So good!

If you don’t have these specific oils I have a link to grab them here: GRIEF SKINCARE OILS

This investment towards natural health is completely worth it and trust me, there are SO many additional uses for these beauties. (If you decide to grab these make sure and send me a note so I can get you my additional uses booklet.)

Items you will need:

Frankincense, Helichrysum, Blue Tansy + Roman Chamomile

Baobab Oil Carrier Oil

10ml White / Gold Rollerbottles

Beginner’s Face Massage Book

There are a whole host of resources you can use to learn new techniques for self-administered face, foot, and body massage. The book I have listed above is really simple to follow along with and in the thick of heavy grief simple matters. I also have a lymphatic book that is spectacular: The Book of Lymph , if you want to get a little more specific in areas you are addressing. I use it for my sinus congestion. One more item I find really helpful is my Gua Sha stone, it is cool + smooth, I love the way it glides across my skin with the grief serum. These aren’t necessary, just for those who like to dive deep quickly. The essential oils + the baobab oil in a roller bottle, and your hands, are all you need to do the basic techniques in the beginner’s book.

I’d love to hear your feedback after trying this nightly for a few weeks. Let me know if you experience slightly deeper sleep, calmer nerves, or maybe a spark of nurture has lit for your weary soul.

Grief is hard work but it is SO worth it! I am praying this technique becomes a simple and effective tool for you to have in your grief toolbox.

Balm of Gilead recipe: soothe your skin

This balm is absolutely amazing. I was on a pursuit to find an all-around balm recipe that would support the body in its natural response to head tension, skin irritations, dry skin, and more. I was really intrigued by the Balm of Gilead spoken of in the Bible. As I looked into it a little more it seemed the absolute perfect fit for creating a one-for-all balm.

So, when Maddy and I went to whip a batch up we added some other nutrient rich oils that sink deep into the skin quickly.

Just a few of the health benefits are listed in the above graphic. Each one of these oils could stand alone with the many benefits they provide, together this balm is dense with some skin-loving support. Ten years ago I would have never guessed a balm applied to the skin could soak in to fuel your body with the added love it needed for a mood shift or a tummy ache?

Toss the following into a double boiler to melt:

• 1/4 ounce beeswax

• 1/4 ounce candelilla wax

• 1/4 ounce kpangan butter or shea butter

• 1 ounce jojoba oil

once melted remove from heat and add:

• 1 ounce balm of gilead herbal oil

• .5 ounce St. John’s Wort

• .5 ounce Prickly Pear

• 20 drops frankincense

• 4 drops myrrh

• 4 drops ylang ylang

• 4 drops elevation blend

mix thoroughly + pour into a 4 oz. jar.

and voila! You have one incredible balm that could be used for so very many things.

Enjoy!!!!