Grief. Stress and Cortisol: the Physical Weight of Grief

Grief is a bugger. It can take a serious toll. I think when we lose a loved one we all expect our minds to be deeply troubled and overwhelmed, our bodies to feel heavy, as well as our hearts hurting. And by heart, I mean the one that is not physically pumping blood but more of an identifiable place within us that we store up our treasures.

But the fact is, that grief doesn’t just impact our thought or emotional life. Grief deeply impacts our entire being; our blood-pumping heart as well as the rest of our body. Our minds + bodies get pretty darn stressed in the wake of loss . We have some pretty great systems in place to help us cope but they certainly tucker out over time.

And here is the deal… grief is rarely, if ever, short-term. So, our bodies get stressed and just can’t handle the load well… our stress alarms begin to get uber-sensitive and go off haphazardly. With each ringing alarm, our poor nerves get frazzled and tattered. Can you feel it? Do you relate?

IF so, how many times a day does your stress alarm go off irrationally? Do you get startled at the slightest thing?

Grief has an array of effects on our body but a very common one is an overactive fight or flight response. I know this is still an active problem for me.
Acute stress unresolved can quickly become chronic stress. It’s important to learn some calming and restorative techniques that can help you deal with it as it hits.

I have a list of really great natural options. They differ depending on the setting. If I am out and about my response looks a lot different than if I am at home where I have privacy.

But my #1 quick go-to is grabbing a mint or citrus essential oil bottle, cracking the cap off and inhaling the thing for 1-2 minutes. BIG DEEP breaths in through my nose and out through my mouth help me to slow down my brain enough to talk to God about what I am facing - even if I can only get out “Help me, God.”

The other thing that happens in that moment is the essential oils begin to work with my brain at processing those feelings while helping my nerves to calm down. Just smelling them accomplishes this.

This is my quick + easy approach in an emergency situation. I do have a particular process I go through to help me work through my grief on a deeper level. I have shared some of it in the Hope for the Grieving Heart self-guided digital workbook. It’s available in our store.

One thing I am sure of, it is REALLY important to fund your way to work through it and process it. Stuffing, or avoiding will not work long-term. Your body really does keep the score.

If you need more help discovering what works for you make sure and check out my book or pop over to our instagram account. We have a lot more resources coming your way.

My one prayer for every single person wiggling their way through grief is this, that you truly feel Jesus meeting you in the thick of it. That you have energy enough to look for him and listen. He has the sweetest way of meeting you in the depths and tending to your broken heart. Other things are needed but they don’t amount to much without him.

Healing through grief isn’t easy but it is SO WORTH IT!

Banana Tea: A natural mood + sleep boosting recipe.

Do you struggle with sleep much? I know for me sleep is currently off + on. Throughout Dave’s cancer + following his death my sleep was non-existent. So, I am still working hard to recover from all of that deprivation. It’s so hard on the body. This Banana Tea though! Cheap, easy + about as natural as you can get.

You may have heard it said before that banana peel contains the most nutrient-dense part of the fruit. But, who really wants to eat a banana peel? I don’t know, maybe someone out there has a good recipe for ingesting it. If so, please share!

This tea, however, gets you the nutrients without having to chew your way through a peel. I think it is a SPECTACULAR option to be able to sip your way towards a sounder slumber + happier mood. Tea just sounds comforting but then add in the health benefits.

Why is it that bananas help? Potassium + magnesium baby, they are a HUGE help when it comes to equipping your body, and bananas are an amazing natural source for these minerals. The peels also contain tryptophan which naturally produces serotonin + melatonin in our bodies. What?!?

Yep. This may be the cheapest + most natural option for helping you catch some solid wink eye. Let’s not stop there, serotonin is the key hormone that stabilized our moods, it gives us feelings of well-being. Can even boost feelings of happiness! and who doesn’t need a little extra dose of that these days?

Here is the recipe:

• 1 rinsed organic banana*

• cut ends of banana off

• boil 2-3 cups water

• place banana in boiling water

• simmer for 10 minutes

• strain + serve

• can add a sprinkle of cinnamon

• I add a drop of vanilla

• *note: for low glycemic just use peel and omit the fruit.

YUM!
Tell me you don’t have a list of five people that immediately come to mind who could use this Hope tip.

Let me know if you try this + What you think. Cheers to a healthier you!

When grief tries to steal, don't believe it.

F A M I L Y

Hold them tight, cherish the moments, because you just never know.

This photo is missing a key player from it. The one that stood at the helm to navigate our course and he was the one who knew where to drop the anchor that steadied us in a safe harbor.

Honestly, he was my grounding person. I am the dreamer, the planner, the visionary, the creative force, the spontaneous let's go girl. And he was my, (what I often called), dream squasher. Haha. He brought all the practical into any situation that presented itself. "Okay Kim, so "HOW" are we going to do that?" At the time I didn't give the process the respect it deserved. I need that in my life to help me look at both sides of the same coin.

I miss that.

I miss him.

We all do.

There is SO MUCH that has changed + there is SO MUCH that we miss. There is SO MUCH that we have processed + SO MUCH MORE to work through. We have experienced quite the trauma during the process of fighting to lose, and in the defeat of cancer, we have been left with a thick residual of heavy grief.

BUT we have learned SO MUCH.

This is the gold in the story. This is where God redeems the broken. He doesn't rewrite stories, he adds on to them... bringing new strength, growth, or light in response to what happened. We can count on this. He never leaves us where we are at, He always has things to show us and places to take us. We just can't let ourselves lose sight of him in the process. EVEN IF it means just barely cracking one eye open-enough to squint in his direction. Or one cracky whisper of "You're here, right God? I'm not alone, even though every ounce of me feels like it."

"Yes baby girl, I'm right here. I haven't taken my eye off of you for one single second. I love you so much + I know how deeply you are hurting. Someday you'll be able to walk again... for now just find rest in the knowledge I am here + I am fighting for you."

That right there is what has carried me to this point. Knowing my God is here, and true to his word. He will never leave me and never forsake me... and I have just got to believe that because my, what I thought was “FOREVER LOVE” did leave me. Not by his own doing but never the less, he is gone. And that messes with a girl's mind + heart on all sorts of levels.

I have SO MUCH MORE to say on this. But for now I just wanted to stop on in with a quick update and encourage anyone who is suffering immense loss. YOU AREN'T ALONE... EVER. Not even in your darkest nights. YOU are being fought for and guess what... he already won! I pray you can find some peace and some rest in that.

YOU are loved,