Recognizing Trauma Through Mind Scribble | Free Worksheet

Trauma, it isn’t what happened, it is what happens within us as a result of harsh life events that impacted us. When we can’t process properly in the moment of the event it stores itself up in our mind and bodies. And it wreaks havoc just sitting there. Ignoring it just isn’t good enough, it’s eating at us, whether we can identify the damage or not. So, what do we do? We begin with recognition. We start by not being afraid to tap into what hasn’t been dealt with yet. I’ve created (what I think) is a fun process to loosen up and let go a little.

FREE worksheet. Save + Print. Recognizing Trauma thru Mind Scribble Worksheet | Essentially Loved

It all started today when I was watching a REALLY good sermon on Trauma. You heard me right, a sermon on Trauma. Craig Groeschel at Life Church did an excellent job of unpacking what trauma is, how important it is for the healing process to recognize it, and how this leads to a place where you can eventually use your pain for a purpose by helping others. This info wasn’t new to me but an idea in response to it was.

As I was listening to the end of the sermon an image of a worksheet popped into my head. I quickly created this worksheet and decided to give it a try. I have to say, I loved the process of it. I snuggled up on my cozy couch, with a cozy blanket, rolled some breathe on my chest to open my airways and mind, got my pens ready, and relaxed my way into the process.

As I was began I went in with a black pen to write down past events that popped into my head. I didn’t allow myself time to sit and process each event, I just remembered, jotted it down, and moved on to the next one. Then I decided to go back and create a more artistic expression with it. I grabbed colored pens and quickly scanned my life once again (starting a little younger), writing down what came to mind in a few words. For some of my entries I used letters, initials, or code words.

Feel free to save and print out the image on the left to complete your own. It’s free. I am SO for you finding freedom from the bound pain. I’m over here right now praying for you and your process. I know God cares so deeply about all you have been through. and he wants to help you heal. He really does.

Once you have worked through this and sat with it a little make sure and check back here. I’ll be sharing new posts to help with some next steps once you get this completed.

BIG SIGH, say a prayer asking God to hold you tight through the process, and let’s get to work.

You got this!

Do you trust me? The repeated question that changed my grief journey.

The other day I was sitting rather mindlessly allowing my thoughts to move with ease bouncing back and forth through memories and my current day situation. This relaxed state of mind practice seems quite natural to most but non-existent to many who are grieving. To allow the grieving mind to drift is to consider the thought of physically jumping into a boxing ring. You don’t know what thought will take that swing that leads to a knockout. The fact I was free to relax my thinking and coast back to review the lived-out chapters showed I was making progress.

As I sat there seeing the chapters of life without Dave flipping before me God revealed a piece of His beautiful offering that had helped provide me with shelter in the midst of the pelting grief storm. It was a question that was posed to me over, and over, and over, and over, and over, again and again. A question of weighted words that wouldn’t make space for a flippant answer. It was a question pointed like a magnifying scope looking straight to the core of my entire being.

“Do you trust me?” -Jesus

You see, my body and mind took many different forms in my grief: from laid out flat sleeping to a curled-up sobbing fetal position. From arms waving in the air praising, to my head resting on my Bible soaking. From scuffing my feet through the red soil of Africa serving, to lounging at my friend’s cabin receiving. From voraciously studying and creating in order to provide my way, to trying to relax just enough to find calm in my racing heart with solitude and rest.

I was scared in the face of the unknown and I was doing everything I knew I should to find my way and make my path straight. Until I couldn’t, and then I would run like crazy and try to escape the pain. Until I realized the pain follows you because it is part of you, it dwells within. There is no escaping it. So, back to creating. Back to learning. Back to doing. Back to… you name it.

BUT THROUGHOUT.

This is the part that matters most. This is the plumbline of truth that keeps our foundation level when we build upon it. That repeated question asked throughout the mayhem of my stability-building attempts: “Do YOU trust ME?” -Jesus?

The question would often catch me off-guard, stop me in my tracks, and take my heaving breath away from me. My vision would narrow in on Him, eyes locking, nerves settling, worries decreasing, fear subsiding, grounding found. “YES.” “I trust YOU, Jesus.”

“I question this world and the people in it, myself included. But I trust you yesterday, today, and forever.” Honestly. In the wake of the storms, my answer is still YES. More now than ever. and with that trust, the next step comes a little easier. Jesus is indeed trustworthy even in the unknown and in the broken.

I could write five chapters on this but for now, I want to keep it to this next point: When the unknown of your future gets loud or feels shakey, there is a way through it. This pattern of a repeated trust statement changes things. The key is that you have to believe it. You have to envision a very real Jesus holding your hand, scooping you up, leading the way, walking alongside, gazing into your eyes, and seeing the very core of your being. He knows you, He loves you, and every single thing about you matters to Him. He has a plan for you and it is a really good one.

Not despite the broken but because of it.

Do you trust Him?

Unfelt Grief | How to Honor Your Sadness + Process Through It

Pain, it’s natural for us to want to avoid it, right? Our built in avoidance techniques shift into gear before we even recognize them. This leads us to a place of trapped emotions. These emotions can wreak havoc in our mind and bodies.

I don’t know what events lead you here. But for me the alarms signals began blaring after I lost my husband. I had been through a lot of loss + hardship prior to. Unfortunately, I thought I was handling the past events fine. As I have been learning new ways to process my sadness and recognize triggers old stuff has emerged as well. My body was keeping the score.

So in this post I want to WELCOME YOU to a simple practice of honoring your sadness. Helping you to see that you don’t need to be afraid of it or press it down. I want you to have freedom from the fear of sadness leaking out or erupting by practicing ways to welcome it. With the practice of holding sadness sessions, by allowing it and moving it through, it will help release a lot of the pressure of the unexpected outbursts. Oh, triggers will still bring some tears but they may not have the same energy behind them and you will know what helps you to move through it. This really helps, truly.

You want to start by creating a safe space and protected time. Someplace you feel comfortable and won’t be easily interrupted. You may want music playing, essential oils diffusing, a candle lit, a cozy blanket, or the fresh air with grass underneath you. Just find space somewhere that you feel safe enough.

The next thing I do is grab some scriptures and read them asking God for his clarity and truth to be present as I begin to feel and process. I invite Him into the space with me. This reminds me that I am NOT ALONE, He is leading.

Then I grab an essential oil and put a drop in the palm of my hand and rub my palms together. While my brain is preparing to settle into the memories or situation I am doing my deep breathing. In through my nose for 5 seconds, exhale through my nose for 7-11 seconds. and repeat, and repeat, and repeat. Eventually I drop my hands, my eyes are closed and tears are streaming. (Keep the tissue close by and make sure the oils aren’t on your finger tips for the tear wipes.)

Often during this time Jesus arrives on the scene and shows me something new about it. Not always, but often. When that I like to journal down the notes.

This process seems simple enough, doesn’t it? Just wait until you make a commitment to start practicing this and you will see how powerful it is. God is a creative God and as you begin trying this He will show you new things to try and do in response.

The goal of this isn’t to circle and spin in one thought, it is to learn how to move through them. These hurts are stored in our memory banks but how we respond to them makes a big difference in how we show up in the world. If you feel stuck you may need professional help to learn some new techniques or skills. Don’t be afraid of that either. Seeking help is one of the bravest things you can do and it is such a terrific reminder that you are not in this alone. People care and want to help you!

I am also listing oils specifically helpful for processing sadness. These essential oils can do a multitude of things but today I am sharing a list of them for emotional support with sadness. Breathe is exceptionally good for this particular practice as it opens the airways and clears thinking.

• Hope essential oil blend

• Rose essential oil

• Console essential oil blend

• Citrus Bliss essential oil blend

• Ylang Ylang essential oil

• Siberian fir essential oil

• Peppermint essential oil

• Eucalyptus essential oil

These are terrific natural options for helping your mind to relax, release, feel and move through.

I’m praying for you and your process. I know God is with you in this, and so am I.

Grief Serum Recipe: a simple + kind nightly routine towards healing.

Grief is sneaky.

Grief is heavy.

Grief is exhausting.

Grief can deplete us to a place where we barely recognize ourselves.

And here is the thing…

Sometimes it wears us down to a level that not only impacts our state of mind but our bodies and potentially our belief systems as well. We may end up believing we don’t have anything in us to pull out of the pit we are currently in. That is a flat-out LIE though… even in the depths of grief, we can still continue to take steps towards healing.

That is what this post is all about. Having a super simple tool on hand that feels darn good, is relaxing, and helps you take steps towards healing.

I have found at the end of the day, during the time that pillow talk would typically happen, I needed a way to care for myself and remind myself I was going to be okay. Somehow, my evening process with this simple technique was not only caring for me but it also helped me to remember I was wanting to show up better and stronger for my future.

Note: You aren’t limited to using it at night, these tools and techniques can be used any time of day, whenever grief overwhelm strikes. Many of the oils do assist

Let me tell you a little bit about why I chose these specific essential oils included in my Grief Serum Recipe. Each one provides essential oils that help provide emotional stability, promote movement throughout the mind + body, and are especially good for the skin. I am telling you these are grief-busting oils. They target the areas that grief has tried to make me out, and I am guessing you as well.

Look, I am not saying this is a “do this and BAM, IT’S INSTANTLY BETTER.” But what I am saying is it truly is a soothing technique that does a lot more than just feel good. Whether you feel them or not your body and mind are responding, and with consistent use there will be substantial change. And yes, how it does work for me instantly is in the reminder that I care about myself, I care about my future, I care about how I process my grief and move forward.

I have a graphic posted with the recipe, the number on each essential oil bottle is how many drops to put in the 10ml roller bottle, and then top with baobab oil. You can use another low-comedogenic oil but this one is an absolute favorite of mine.

Make sure you check out the graphics I have posted here to see more on the oil-specific benefits. And feel free to do your own check on each one, you will be BLOWN AWAY. So good!

If you don’t have these specific oils I have a link to grab them here: GRIEF SKINCARE OILS

This investment towards natural health is completely worth it and trust me, there are SO many additional uses for these beauties. (If you decide to grab these make sure and send me a note so I can get you my additional uses booklet.)

Items you will need:

Frankincense, Helichrysum, Blue Tansy + Roman Chamomile

Baobab Oil Carrier Oil

10ml White / Gold Rollerbottles

Beginner’s Face Massage Book

There are a whole host of resources you can use to learn new techniques for self-administered face, foot, and body massage. The book I have listed above is really simple to follow along with and in the thick of heavy grief simple matters. I also have a lymphatic book that is spectacular: The Book of Lymph , if you want to get a little more specific in areas you are addressing. I use it for my sinus congestion. One more item I find really helpful is my Gua Sha stone, it is cool + smooth, I love the way it glides across my skin with the grief serum. These aren’t necessary, just for those who like to dive deep quickly. The essential oils + the baobab oil in a roller bottle, and your hands, are all you need to do the basic techniques in the beginner’s book.

I’d love to hear your feedback after trying this nightly for a few weeks. Let me know if you experience slightly deeper sleep, calmer nerves, or maybe a spark of nurture has lit for your weary soul.

Grief is hard work but it is SO worth it! I am praying this technique becomes a simple and effective tool for you to have in your grief toolbox.

5 tips for Gripping Hope through the Holidays: dealing with Grief + Emotions

She sat there, or was trying to. Even the task of sitting brought discomfort. It required stillness, and stillness allowed for ALL of the emotions to be felt. If only she could just keep doing, moving, planning….

but she was exhausted. All of her attempts at grief escape had left her depleted. Her mind + body needed rest but the physical and mental exhaust had only dropped the defensive walls down to the surface of the grief flood waters, they were brimming, beginning to splash over a little. How might she avoid the onrushing waves that were certain to crash in soon? Oh, please, not now….

She was tired. Too tired for the heavy weep of sorrow. Oh, so tired… but oh so unsettled. Letting the grief flow freely was still so difficult, so painful.

But so was avoiding it, just a different kind of steady pain that she barely recognized was happening. Recognized or not, it was crippling her. It was taking her out, little by little, day by day. She had to find a way…

And so she did, and she still does. Because grief is certain to come and go.

But now, most of the time, she knows when to welcome it, and how she can do that best.

Let’s see if some of the tips in the slide show above help you. I tried to think of some of the biggest issues I have faced coping with grief during the holidays. It’s challenging, I won’t lie. But, we do have options that can help us manage better, help us find our way through it with a little more ease. It isn’t easy but it feels better after we do it. Honest!

I created a mini-book for you to help to move through the holidays. It has more detailed information and access to some of what I use regularly in my Grief Toolbox. You can click the link HERE for my HOPE for the Grieving Heart Mini-Book. It is only $6.95, up for a very limited time at just a fraction of the cost that my physical book will be. So grab it while you can!

Knowing your worth in an ever-changing world.

I think we are all aware the world evolves. One look at history and it’s proven. Everything changes, some things recycle, some things just plain fade. But there is always a NEW IDEA about what is seen as BEAUTIFUL, what the world sees as ATTRACTIVE. What we should be STRIVING for. So, who is it deciding all of this. Do we know them? Are they absolutely for our best? Do they even KNOW US?

And yet, their opinions weigh so heavily on our minds, subconsciously much of the time. Nevertheless, the unrecognized voice is loud. We compare, we strive, we desire, we pine over, we seek, we buy, we try…

and most of the time we fall short of the goal.

Why is that?

Because most of the time, this is not what we were created for. We are rating ourselves and striving for something outside of what our matchless maker has designed for us. Our creator has SO MUCH to say about us, over us and into us. It’s unending, never stops. His love radiates onto us and fills us up.

His plan for us is SO GOOD! But we may be so busy head down to the grindstone or head up in the clouds, that we miss what he is speaking into us. Of friend, how many times has this been me? Too many to count. You too probably, or you wouldn’t have made it this far on the page. But here is the HOPE, it’s never too late. He ALWAYS has MORE for us. It may be different but it will never be less. He just doesn’t work that way.

So, how do we balance this out better? What keeps us grounded in WHO God says we are and believing it? Because once we do this everything that follows changes. I know you believe that. If we truly know and BELIEVE what He says about us we show up differently, we accomplish different things, we feel differently, we LOVE more + we worry less. The striving ceases and the longing for Him increases. And this all comes about by being in relationship with Jesus…daily. I mean, face to face, I love you + you love me, Jesus time.

So, if we must strive, let’s strive for this one thing: MORE JESUS.

The WORLD’s ideas of perfection will always fall short and feel flat. You were designed for so much more than that. I can’t wait to see what it is. Oh, and I will because when you start stepping towards it you are going to SHINE for all to see! That’s love on display, right there, and NOTHING is more BEAUTIFUL than that.

4 Ideas for Lymphatic Cleansing

The lymphatic system is like your body’s second circulatory system. It is responsible for the following:

• Detoxification of waste products from the body

• Immunity boosts to keep the body healthy

• Transportation of nutrients throughout the body

It might help if you think of the lymphatic system as your body’s trash collector and disposal system. It pumps lymphatic fluids throughout the body in order to absorb toxins + waste so that it can eliminate them from the body. If your lymphatic system slows down it can quickly clog and cause major problems with major organs and systems within the body.

The lymphatic system plays another very important role by absorbing the fats + vitamins you take in and delivering them where they need to go. When we take all of that into consideration, and we recognize how our physical bodies impact the brain, mind + emotions… Well, you can see why it is vital to do your best to keep it working smoothly.

So, I put together four VERY simple and easy techniques that are gentle + kind to your system. For those of you in the thick of grief I know it is easy to get overstimulated and overwhelmed, so I wanted to keep it super simple.

These are all things I have been using over the last few years, I actually began them prior to Dave’s passing, during his illness. I am here to tell you, no matter what shape you are in, you will feel SO MUCH better implementing these.

Just pick one, after a few days try adding another if you feel up to it.

GUA SHA is a simple technique that you can easily do yourself. There are several youtube tutorials to follow. You will need the following items:

• a GUA SHA stone

• Essential Oil Face Serum w/ Frankincense, Lavender, Myrrh, Helichrysum, Hawaiian Sandalwood, and Rose. (PLEASE, only use certified + pure, 3rd party tested eos, many are adulterated + filled with toxins in the name of “fragrance”)

Here is a Gua Sha Beginners video (click here)

HYDRATE more water, more water, more water. Increase your water to 50% of your weight. HNow does that work - claculate by taking your weight in pounds + drink half of that in ounces of water. Make SURE it is filtered. No plastic bottles. No carbonation. No juice. Just water counts for this one. You can have other drinks but they don’t contribute to your count. And caffeine can actually take away from it.

Drinking water with 1-2 drops of lemon or grapefruit essential oil in it is excellent for detox + your body while at the same time it will really uplift your mood.

• Berkey Water Filters are some of the best around for removing bacteria, pesticides, minerals and metals .

• Lemon essential oil, or grapefruit, are essential to add to your water for a gentle detox.

• Hydro Flask makes my FAVORITE water bottle to use with essential oils. Using a water bottle helps keep the tracking easy. (You want to use metal or glass when using eos.)

DETOX BATH SOAK is oh-so relaxing + calming to the mind it is also an AMAZING way to pump up that lymphatic system.

Hot water will dilate blood vessels, the epsom salt and baking soda draw out the impurities. Essential oils boost your body’s natural ability to purge what it needs to + support your lymphatic system.

• 2 cups Epsom Salt

• 1 cup Baking Soda

• Essential Oil Blend specifically designed to help boost your body’s detox system with Tangerine Peel, Rosemary Leaf, Geranium Flower/Leaf, Juniper Berry, Cilantro Herb essential oils.

  Directions: Fill the tub with hot water. Mix the salt, soda + 6 drops of the essential oil. Blend well. Add to bathwater just before soaking and stir in well. Soak for 30-45 minutes.

  Repeat weekly. Make sure and hydrate extra well after your soak, and the following day.

Now, let’s talk REBOUNDING.

This is SO incredibly good for all the cells in your body. It is gentle on the joints. It totally helps with mood, especially when you pump up some. music.

It stimulates the lymphatic system and moves those nasty toxins right out of your body. This is one of the fastest ways to jiggle + shake ALL those lymph nodes in your body at one time.

I have a jamming playlist I play on my earbuds as I get in the zone. I also pop a couple of peppermint beadlets in advance because there are studies done on the effects of this essential oil and increasde physical performance. PLUS it opens the airways and completely lifts my mood.

You don’t have to jump intensely, just hop on a bounce gently, pick it up a little and then back to gentle. Have fun with it.

I like the ones with handles, and some are foldable for easier storage, like this one that’s available on Amazon: Rebounder

Check out this diagram with all the lymph nodes in the body. Crazy right? I figured seeing them may help you want to do something to help them be tip-top.

Now, go jiggle + jump, hydrate + flush, soak + release, and massage those babies.

Make sure and let me know what you try and how it works. Let me know if you have any questions.

If you are really spurred on to do all you can and you really want to dive in, you can always go for a full-on detox kit. We have a great natural option that steps through the elimination pathways in the proper order so that you get maximum detox results without side effects. When you purchase the kit you will also receive an ebook + gift box from us. You have us to help walk you through it as well. This is something we highly suggest doing two times a year. You’ll be amazed at how clear your skin is, how your energy increases, and mental clarity. BOOM!

You can purchase your all-natural detox solution here: Detox Kit

Alcohol may calm your nerves + numb your pain? But it is also poison to your brain.

A little sip, turns into a glass or two. Relaxed, right? Seems like a good way to unwind, especially when the health industry has been saying it has quite a few benefits. 

But wait, does it? And if so do they outweigh the harm?

And what does this have to do with the grief process anyway? A lot.

I think many consider wine/alcohol as a natural sedative. After Dave died I must have been brought wine with nearly every meal delivered from friends. And to be fair, there has been a handful of times I have sipped on a glass, but it is far from a normal routine for me. And this isn’t because of the idea of brain damage, because I didn’t have this info from Doctor Daniel Amen and his extensive research yet, but it was more about wanting to feel + be in reality. I knew the depth of my grief would require a deep altering to not feel it, and I just wasn’t willing to take the risks that come with that.

Scans, along with several studies, is revealing the many ways that alcohol impacts the brain. Decreased blood flow to the brain, limited brain cell reproduction, increased risk of dementia, hippocampus atrophy, and more. Add on increased anxiety and brain fog.

So yes, it may calm your nerves for a brief spell but it sounds to me like a very temporary numbing with great potential to lead to much more unsettling conditions.

It just isn’t worth it when there are so many more options out there now. Like natural options that truly help with building overall strength, long term.

It is time to invest in finding your way through your grief , naturally. Know better + do better!

Great deal on Anxi-munity Bundle.

If you struggle with feelings of anxiousness or are looking for ways to strengthen your body, this set is FOR YOU! We have an INCREDIBLE limited time offer and the hours are counting down. Check it out below. Hurry while supplies last, this will sell out quickly.

Check out the amazing benefits of these oils. There will be even more with the mystery oils still being revealed. SIX!

Banana Tea: A natural mood + sleep boosting recipe.

Do you struggle with sleep much? I know for me sleep is currently off + on. Throughout Dave’s cancer + following his death my sleep was non-existent. So, I am still working hard to recover from all of that deprivation. It’s so hard on the body. This Banana Tea though! Cheap, easy + about as natural as you can get.

You may have heard it said before that banana peel contains the most nutrient-dense part of the fruit. But, who really wants to eat a banana peel? I don’t know, maybe someone out there has a good recipe for ingesting it. If so, please share!

This tea, however, gets you the nutrients without having to chew your way through a peel. I think it is a SPECTACULAR option to be able to sip your way towards a sounder slumber + happier mood. Tea just sounds comforting but then add in the health benefits.

Why is it that bananas help? Potassium + magnesium baby, they are a HUGE help when it comes to equipping your body, and bananas are an amazing natural source for these minerals. The peels also contain tryptophan which naturally produces serotonin + melatonin in our bodies. What?!?

Yep. This may be the cheapest + most natural option for helping you catch some solid wink eye. Let’s not stop there, serotonin is the key hormone that stabilized our moods, it gives us feelings of well-being. Can even boost feelings of happiness! and who doesn’t need a little extra dose of that these days?

Here is the recipe:

• 1 rinsed organic banana*

• cut ends of banana off

• boil 2-3 cups water

• place banana in boiling water

• simmer for 10 minutes

• strain + serve

• can add a sprinkle of cinnamon

• I add a drop of vanilla

• *note: for low glycemic just use peel and omit the fruit.

YUM!
Tell me you don’t have a list of five people that immediately come to mind who could use this Hope tip.

Let me know if you try this + What you think. Cheers to a healthier you!

The Unexpected in Widowhood: Learning to trust.

My mornings are such a mix these days. They range from waking with head pressure, sometimes angst, maybe a song, all the way to out and out enthusiasm. But I am not so far away from the brutal slap of widowed reality + gasp for oxygen mornings, sleepless nights, to forget their sting. They were my unwelcomed morning ritual for, well, far too long to count. I will say they were there long enough, they were consistent enough for me to be able rise and recognize the feeling of freedom without their presence. And today it has brought to me a place of such deep gratefulness.

Today was one of those days. This morning I woke up with words of thanks spouting from my lips. I found myself standing up + speaking out loud from my heart:

“God, I LOVE you. Thank you for that. Thank you for loving me and for helping me to know you. Like really, KNOW you and TRUST you. Thank you for having a plan for my life. A good plan. Thank you for the people you have put around me in my life, to help remind me and to spur me on. Thank you that you are teaching me that I can trust myself .“ SCREECHING HALT…. ummmmm, wait … WHAT did I just claim? And when did that happen?

See, since Dave passed away this sneaky little distrust in myself began to grow. As time continued to separate me from the life I had lived with my husband I found myself questioning more and more of my abilities: my decision-making processes, my feelings, the filters I run info through, my ability to show up. I began to feel this weird weight of scrutiny pressing on me. And I found myself wondering just where did this mental onslaught stem from? Because I was pretty sure a lot of it was in my head.

Through time + much thought, I have come to the conclusion that there were some key voices that spoke into the spaces of my falsely held beliefs.

1- Well-intentioned people questioning my process.

2- The void where his voice once spoke to bring balancing opinions + thoughts.

3- History. All the voices of my past failures magnified by the risk of facing future ones alone.

4- The whispers of the enemy, “You can’t do it.”

The sheer volume of these voices spinning on repeat in my head would hit me at different times throughout the day, although I will say this… I think they were probably on constant replay. I think I was just busy putting every ounce of my subconscious mental energy into drowning them out. However, it took its toll + somewhere between 2-4pm my brain would just want to shut off with my body closely wanting to follow. About that time the nerves would fire up to keep me in motion until bedtime. And throughout the evening and upon rising I would have a spontaneous electrical dance responding to those voices until I stood up to drown them out that following morning. And repeat.

But somehow scattered here and there I found space to sit with Jesus,

even when I didn’t feel like I had a drop of energy to personally show up. My sordid past had already proven His immense love for me + I knew I could trust him to show up even when I couldn’t muster much strength. I just needed a willing heart to try.

And as I started to implement some simple steps with my Being Known time I would find Jesus asking me morning after morning… “I know you don’t trust yourself, but DO YOU TRUST ME?” Yes, Jesus, I do, completely.” And in my journey with him this last year He has shown me SO MUCH about the voices I was tipping my head to, the things that were holding my gaze. It matters much. And with his simple questions + his deep love, my mind has been able to identify some of the faulty wiring + naturally I am beginning to respond out of more of his truth.

In the course of that, I have fallen SO deeply in love with Jesus, right in the thick of my painful process. The very thing that took a swing at me with the intention of taking me out resulted in shifting my position + opening my view to THE ONE who would steady my stance by wrapping his loving arms around me, holding me tightly, looking straight into my eyes, while asking me the question over and over again until I believed it to my very core:

“Kim, do you trust me?”

I do. If ever I trust anything, it is YOU!

My journey is still long. I have much to still discover BUT for today I am so grateful to recognize that although I won’t ever have all the right answers on my own, I do know the ONE who does. And we are tight, like really tight. In fact, he adores me.

This song:

LOVE YOURSELF

by Justin Bieber + modified lyrics by Tanner Townsend, it gets me every single time I listen to it. Close your eyes + wrap the words around your heart and mind.

“For all the times that you feel so alone
And when you don't know where to turn or to go
You think you're too far gone, you've made your last mistake
You think I'm lying test me, kneel down and pray

'Cause Gods got a plan for you
Listen to the spirit there's too many
Different voices, block out all the noises
I'm singing that I know it's true
And if you think you're worthless, I just want to help you know that
You're still good, don't look back

And the Father loves you, and he loves everyone
And I'd invite you to pray through His Son
We get so caught up in our day, we forget to kneel and pray
Yes I know that you are never on your own

If you could see the way He sees your soul
Then maybe you could learn to love yourself
And if you start to hear the still small voice
Then maybe you could go and trust yourself

And if you start to feel that all your hope is lost
Remember Jesus died on Calvary's Cross
He suffered all the pains and hopelessness you'll see
So you can break the chains and start to be free

'Cause Gods got a plan for you
Listen to the spirit there's too many
Different voices, block out all the noises
I'm singing that I know it's true
And if you think you're worthless, I just want to help you know that
You're still good, don't look back

And the Father loves you, and he loves everyone
And I'd invite you to pray through His Son
We get so caught up in our day, we forget to kneel and pray
Yes I know that you are never on your own

If you could see the way He sees your soul
Then maybe you could learn to love yourself
And if you start to hear the still small voice
Then maybe you should go and trust yourself

For all the times that I know, you feel small
Just take His hand, and He will help you stand tall
And if you hold fast to the rod and don't lose sight
Then you can know that it will end up alright

And the Father loves you, and he loves everyone
And I'd invite you to pray through His Son
We get so caught up in our day, we forget to kneel and pray
Yes I know, that you are never on your own

If you could see the way He sees your soul
Then maybe you could learn to love yourself
And if you start to hear the still small voice
Maybe you should learn to love yourself”

Time to Worship: Quarantunes Playlist - best activity to relieve stress during quarantine.

Stressed or concerned yet? Going crazy? What day are we on of this home-bound quarantine? How many days do we have to go? So many thoughts and questions concerning quarantine.

The biggest one for me is how to manage my spinning thoughts around what the future will look like. ALL MY PLANS hinge on how this Corona virus plays out, here and around the world. So many “I don’t knows” right now. That is an uncomfortable place to prop yourself for any length of time.

This morning as God woke me up EXTRA early, He told me to turn on my portable speaker and listen. That the words to the melody had plans to minister to my soul and mind on this very day. So, I obeyed. I am SO GLAD I DID. As I listened He revealed song after song that spoke directly to all of my questions. They calmed the storm within me and reminded me of the bigger STORY. The story where I am not the author, and the one who is… well, He is OH-SO TRUSTWORTHY. It helped me to just breathe and find rest in not having to know, just needing to follow.

I decided to go ahead and take the morning worship song list and make it into a playlist on Spotify to share with all of you. I’d love to hear ideas of songs you would add to it. In fact, you can just pop on over and add it yourself because I made it a collaborative playlist. Here is the link: Spotify Playlist - Time to Worship: Quarantunes (please keep the list child friendly and Jesus centered)

I plan on running through this quarantine music playlist a few times a day… reminding myself that God is not surprised by this. He already has in mind what He is going to do about it. There is purpose in EVERYTHING. So the question is then, how do we show up in it? What does he have in mind for us to do in the space of it?

It is SO EASY to fill our heads with ideas of what our culture says will bring us peace, success, stability, comfort, and happiness. The fact is though, most of those things when acquired are very short-lived if fulfilling at all. So, let’s apply that thought to our current situation. WHAT IF God has different ideas for us than what we had been setting out to do? Wouldn’t this be THE PERFECT time to sit with him, soak in a little of His love, reconnect and LISTEN? I think this is a thing of beauty!

I am not saying this season is easy. I am not saying it is a good thing even. I am saying let’s make the MOST out of it! Let’s use these still days to allow God to speak to us. May we have eyes to see, ears to hear and willing minds to follow.

Listen to this song list and ask those very questions. He’ll speak to you, I just know it.

Psalm 46 The Message

A Song of the Sons of Korah

46 1-3 God is a safe place to hide,
    ready to help when we need him.
We stand fearless at the cliff-edge of doom,
    courageous in seastorm and earthquake,
Before the rush and roar of oceans,
    the tremors that shift mountains.

Jacob-wrestling God fights for us,
    God-of-Angel-Armies protects us.

4-6 River fountains splash joy, cooling God’s city,
    this sacred haunt of the Most High.
God lives here, the streets are safe,
    God at your service from crack of dawn.
Godless nations rant and rave, kings and kingdoms threaten,
    but Earth does anything he says.

7 Jacob-wrestling God fights for us,
    God-of-Angel-Armies protects us.

8-10 Attention, all! See the marvels of God!
    He plants flowers and trees all over the earth,
Bans war from pole to pole,
    breaks all the weapons across his knee.
“Step out of the traffic! Take a long,
    loving look at me, your High God,
    above politics, above everything.”

11 Jacob-wrestling God fights for us,
    God-of-Angel-Armies protects us.

We can choose to wrestle our own way through this, or we can seek God’s wisdom and find His peace in the thick of this. Praying these songs for quarantine will help you to slow down your worries and fears and find rest for your weary soul.

Be well,

Kimber

Tired Much? How to boost health, relieve stress and calm fear: Detox Bath Recipe

So, can a bath really boost health, relieve stress and calm fear? Absolutely!

We really value much of what Dr. Axe has to say about the importance of choosing natural options for best health practices. He has written a few articles on the benefits of a good detox bath. Here is a lil’ exerpt form one of his articles. “…allowing our bodies (and minds!) time to rest and rid themselves of toxins is essential to staying healthy. After all, if you’re not feeling your best, you can’t give anything — or anyone else — 100 percent.

Toxins are poisonous substances that negatively affect our health. We expose ourselves to toxins on a daily basis, from sources like pollution, processed foods, and pesticides. And when we don’t release these toxins, it’s reflected in our health and the way we feel throughout the day. That’s why I’m such a fan of detox baths.

Detox Bath Benefits

While there are many ways to detox, one of the easiest and most relaxing is through a detox bath. The best part? They’re insanely easy to make at home. You’ll get all the benefits you’d find in a high-end spa bath at a fraction of the price and in the comfort of your own home.

Using essential oils (which strengthen the immune system and support your inflammatory response), along with common household items like baking soda + epsom salts… can help flush impurities from the body by allowing it to sweat out toxins.” Tell me, who doesn’t need a little bit of that right now?

“I recommend doing a bath for about 40 minutes to an hour for best results. The first 20 minutes will give your body time to remove toxins from your system while the last 20 to 40 minutes will allow you to absorb the minerals in the water and help you emerge from the bath feeling rejuvenated. Make sure to use hot water — it’ll help you sweat out impurities.”

Here is what Dr. Mark Hyman has to say about the importance of a good detox. (Dr. Hyman is a practicing family physician and an internationally recognized leader, speaker, educator, and advocate in the field of Functional Medicine.)

“When our bodies become toxic it means that our natural method of ushering out metabolic waste from normal human metabolism, environmental pollution, and what has become known as the Standard American Diet (or SAD) has exceeded the threshold for what the body’s innate detoxification system can tolerate.  With this toxic load, every system in the human body can become affected.  From our head to our toes and everything in between, toxicity makes us sick!” - Mark Hyman

So basically you are getting the message that a good detox bath can induce a relaxing effect on the nerves and the brain, right?

And depending upon the essential oils you pick, you will see some additional benefits.

• For balancing a grounding go for some wood oils.

• For skin support and calming go for the florals.

• For uplifting and encouraging go for the citrus oils.

And whichever you choose for those I would add a few drops of the following to enhance and magnify the Impact of the detox: Blue Tansy, Frankincense, Vetiver, Copaiba. These oils have a huge variety of ways they support your body functions and your mental processes. They are TERRIFIC for the skin. They are also oils that have a very large variety of benefits for overall health.

With all of the stressors out there right now I can’t encourage this enough. Try it and let us know what you think.

Be well,

Kimber

21 day Reduce + Reuse Project : Home Detox, Clearing out the clutter and anxiety.

Clutter. Anxiety can lead to clutter + clutter can lead to anxiety.

• Clutter WAY overstimulates our systems (visual, olfactory and tactile), causing our whole being to work overtime on stimuli that aren't necessary or important.

• It draws ALL our attention away from where we should be fixing our attention.

• Clutter makes it nearly impossible to relax, both physically and mentally.

• It constantly sends messages to our brains that we still have a huge to-do list.

• It magnifies levels of anxiety because the idea of pile clearing is overwhelming

• It creates loads of guilt and embarrassment, particularly when someone drops by unexpectedly.

• It frazzles and exhausts us by making it hard to find what we need, when we need it.

In Life at Home in The Twenty-First Century, anthropologists, social scientists, and archaeologists found a recognizable link between the over-abundance of household objects ( "stressful" home environments) and a person’s health. Women's long-term well-being was drastically impacted. (Men, not so much… apparently messes aren’t as stressful to them as a whole). They measured cortisol levels over a number of days and in cluttered or messy homes, they found a WAY higher rate of depressed moods were evident. Conscious consuming is key!

Why? We simply have too much surrounding us. An average room has over 2,000 visible objects in it. It's no wonder we're over-stimulated and anxious!

Getting rid of things can be emotional work. Even when you gear yourself up to declutter you can find yourself stuck in an emotional funk. The sentiment of the items (after all you kept it for a reason), guilt about the value of the items (shouldn’t I sell this, yep, let me put it back to sell later) and other factors can make the actual purging process slow down tremendously, if not halt it altogether. But we MUST find a way to just “Let it go, let it go….” (sing it if you must) in order to gain back a sense of calm + peace.

And hear this… Clearing clutter is not the same as organizing it to make it look pretty. Purchase all the bins you want, you can still be overwhelmed by TOO MANY + TOO MUCH. For those riddled with anxious levels of clutter you need to start at ground level. Making it look more managed temporarily doesn’t address the core issue of collecting or being unable to part with the items, which means you will just continue on with more of the same. For lasting change, you must PUSH OUT the clutter- and not just a scattering of items. You must do enough work that everything has its place and its purpose. Wait, let me switch that around into the proper order. So that everything has its purpose in your home and then find its place to reside and be easily found when needed.

With ALL of the family loss our tribe has experienced over the last 15 years I have had my share of holding tight to what was left… The STUFF, whether they held memories for me or not they were once held by my loved ones. That was the closest I could get to them this side of heaven and so I displayed it or tucked it (shoved it) into a storage place. It was chaotic, crammed and sad. It was out of control and boy was I stressed for a good decade. Thank goodness I found some things to help me start the process of decluttering and finding my way back to sanity (and boy did I try a host of things).

Here are some of my favorites - let’s call them TIMELESS CLASSICS:

The Slob Sisters introduced me to a great practical, go-get-it, purging system. AND they have this incredible file card system addressing daily, weekly, monthly and annual, bite sized chore lists that were so easy to use with the kids. I’d let them pick whatever daily card they wanted to do that day. At one point the kids were eager to be first to the file box to pick their card before the others and get cleaning. Say what? It also covers some of the easily forgotten seasonal tasks around the home. LOVE this one! So thankful it is still in print.

Get Your Act Together: A 7-Day Get-Organized Program For The Overworked, Overbooked, and Overwhelmed

The other fun and extremely helpful system came from

Sink Reflections by the Flylady

She taught me that the time of day can matter, and a host of other things. Who knew making the sink sparkle at night could really make me feel better in the morning? She did!

These two may seem a bit outdated in visual design BUT they are a timeless and trusted resource that will really give you a terrific foundation for detoxing the chaos in your home.

Which leads me to the main point, it’s important to find the way that works for how you are wired. Decluttering is KEY for ALL, no doubt. But how you accomplish, how you maintain it, finding your creative routine is critical to staying successful. AND identifying your mental process that contributes to the clutter party is essential.

Find your grove + your routine. Here is an interesting one I ran across that was posted in Apartment Therapy. It is all about a weekend cleaning routine, leaving your workdays a bit more relaxed. I imagine this would be a great concept for those with stressful jobs, where you just need to come home and relax at the end of the day. Do a little self care and catch those quality Zzzzzz’s.

Weekend Cleaning Only routine posted over on Apartment Therapy: ( Check it out here )

There are a lot of options out there… possibly too many. So don’t get your brain spinning too much on finding the perfect one before you start. Start with one and take away what works well for you. Then dig into another if you need to tweak it up a bit.

And just a reminder as you are going through the home detox motions: The STUFF is not the person. Whether you cling to things to remind you of days gone by, relationships lost, or because you think it contributes to your value… those are all lies. If you truly love the item to your core, keep it. Like if you would pay a pretty penny for it because you just love it that much, then yes, by all means let it spark joy for you. Otherwise free yourself from the bondage of uncontrolled THINGS contributing to a toxic home and/or mindset.

Most importantly. Have grace for yourself. It is going to be okay, you ARE okay. Take a deep breath and remind yourself that you are love-able just the way you are. Messy, chaotic, frazzled, feeling stuck, anxious. Whatever led you to this article I hope you walk away feeling encouraged to just take baby steps and move forward little by little. Don’t you worry, you’ll get there. And if you need a little extra help along the way I have posted some recipes for essential oil blends that will help your body to feel supported and relaxed. They are SO UPLIFTING that I just find myself doing BIG DEEP BREATHING. Well, the benefits of deep breathing, there is another whole post right there. For now, trust me, diffuse or roll these blends of essentials…. your emotions will thank you!

Let’s make the decision to be mindful de-toxers + conscious consumers from here on out.

Be well,

Kimber

21 day Reduce + Reuse Project : Plant Detox

How many of you have thought much about the quantity of plants you have in your home?

If you paid attention in science class you probably remember that plants improve air quality by absorbing carbon dioxide and releasing oxygen through photosynthesis. (Big sigh) Did you know they also increase humidity by transpiring water vapor through microscopic leaf pores? And.... they can passively absorb pollutants on the external surfaces of leaves and on the plant root-soil system.

NASA ran a study and suggests one plant for every 100 Sq. ft. Of living space in order to help remove harmful toxins from the air.

So what could be hiding unseen in our homes (but sucked into our lungs) through our air?
————————————————-
Trichloroethylene
Symptoms associated with short term exposure include excitement, dizziness, headache, nausea and vomiting followed by drowsiness and coma.

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Formaldehyde
Symptoms associated with short term exposure include irritation to nose, mouth and throat, and in severe cases, swelling of the larynx and lungs.

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Benzene
Symptoms associated with short term exposure include irritation to eyes, drowsiness, dizziness, headache, increase in heart rate, headaches, confusion and in some cases can result in unconsciousness.

Xylene
Symptoms associated with short term exposure include irritation to mouth and throat, dizziness, headache, confusion, heart problems, liver and kidney damage and coma.

Ammonia
Symptoms associated with short term exposure include eye irritation, coughing, sore throat. UM, no thank you!

(For more information on the study and these infographics go to: https://www.lovethegarden.com/uk-en/article/nasa-guide-air-filtering-houseplants )

Oh my word… does this make you wonder what is lingering in your air? May I suggest something? more plants + more diffusing. YES?

Or maybe you happen to have some of these air purifying plants on the list? If so, would you mind sharing which ones, and how you keep them healthy?

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I have two of them already (just by a fluke). However there is one I spotted on the list that I think needs to be added within the walls of my home. The “Kimberly Queen Fern”. Haha. I may be a bit biased seeing as how my name is Kimberly and my netflix favicon is “The Queen”. But for real, isn’t it charming?

So for those of us new to plants in the home, what are the best methods for keeping them alive? How do we keep them from shriveling up into a slow crispy brown death, Well, we need to begin by reading the instructions for placement, proper potting, and care. We can also give them a lil’ extra plant love. >>———>

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Click photo for AIR DETOX kit.

Here is a recipe we have for you, MAGIC GROW. A natural plant boosting recipe. Mix the ingredients, spray the soil/roots once a month and voila… healthy growing and protected plants.

And as for the air, and increasing health benefits through the air within your home, we have included a terrific air purifying diffuser blend. It will immediately improve air quality and also deter any little plant dwelling pests.

• Tea Tree oil is a fantastic insect repellent, it supports a healthy respiratory system, it is an excellent air purifier.

• Clove oil is a natural bug deterrent, boosts the immune system, supports healthy circulation, and so much more!

• Lemongrass oil boosts self-esteem, confidence, hope, mental strength, and uplifts spirits. It is also a wonderful deodorant. It is known for its detoxing properties, even when applied on the skin.

For those of you new to the idea of essential oils for natural options, I have put together a little PLANT CARE KIT that includes two ultra fine mist spray bottles and the three essential oils listed above. I will also post an AIR PURIFYING KIT for having what you need to detox the air in your home.

With these kits you will also receive a wholesale membership good for one year with it, saving 25% off anything you choose, at any time. AND best of all, our team is here to walk this oil life with you, and as if we aren’t enough you’ll also get full access to our members only education group, and (wait for it) as an added BONUS you’ll receive a beautiful customized welcome packet from our crew. Guys, you won’t look back, EVER. Go, now, run don’t walk.

Some of you may be wondering why you can’t just head to your nearest discount box store and get the same thing for cheaper. Trust me, you can’t. It’s that simple. I’ve seen it all and heard the feedback. This is one area you want to make sure you are getting what you pay for (and in most cases out there you aren’t…this is PROVEN over and over again!) … you want every little drop to be the most cost EFFECTIVE for you. You want this to actually work.

So here are two kits to choose from: (just click the name and it will link you)

• Essentially Loved PLANT CARE KIT

• Essentially Loved AIR PURIFYING KIT

If you are planning on snagging either one of these kits make sure to reach out to us to let us know. We want to tailor your welcome gift to your specific needs.

Can’t wait to share DAY TWO of the 21 day Reduce + Reuse Project with you tomorrow.

Be well,

Kimber

21 day Reduce + Reuse Project. A unique guide to low tox living.

Welcome to the 21 day reduce + reuse project. We are looking forward to spending a few minutes a day with you talking through some ways you may not have thought about to simplify, improve and save in this sweet life you have in front of you.

This concept of finding creative ways to reduce expenses, reduce stress, save time, improve lifestyle is something quite fun. We are running this as an event over on facebook but we realized something… there are quite a few peeps dropping off of facebook to be a bit more productive, so why not add it day by day to our blog?

So here we are.

We’ll start by introducing ourselves. This Essentially Loved Crew reaches out farther than the two of us but we are the ones hosting this event. We are the mother /daughter duo who dreamed up this beaut.

As the event rolls along we will also have several experts joining in but the two of us will be here day in and day out with you to share the glory of it all and answer any questions you may have.

Over the next 21 days we will focus on 6 main areas.

We’ve been shocked as we have discovered so many hidden delivery systems secretly adding toxins to our daily lives. Some you may be aware of, and others probably not so much. Hopefully you’ll identify a few new ones that will help you clean up your act a little.

We will also be looking at some fun additions to help increase JOY. Because who doesn’t need more of that?

and let’s talk STRESS… enough is enough is enough. We have enough to do, enough pressure, and not enough time… we need to prioritize + simplify. But it isn’t always that easy is it? We are hoping some of our creative ideas will help you to identify some fun ways to restructure and refresh.

We know your load is already heavy so we promise to keep our posts short and sweet. Just enough to have you soak it in, evaluate the impact in your own life and decide if you want to implement a change. Simple, right?

Well, let’s get this ball rolling. Day one is on PLANT DETOX. Say what? Okay… you may immediately think this has everything to do with eating, BUT you may just be wrong on that one. Think NASA. More confused? Check out the next article.

Be Well,

Kimber

A BEAUTIFUL LIFE: even in the midst of a stormy sea.

Well, it's been a bit longer than I expected for this blog post. It's okay though. No worries on how this plays out. Not setting myself up for failure here, this is a free flowing, moving ship that will come in to port to rest when it wants. And then it will venture out on the next journey when it is stocked and ready to go. Who knows what water we will chart, or what the current will be. We can chart it, the current can redirect us and the weather can create a different set of plans all together. That is life in a nutshell. Thankful I know the creator of all these things. The one who holds it all in the palm of his hands and orchestrates it beautifully to work all together for the good.

This whole concept came to me as I was sitting at my friend’s ocean cabin. The weather outside was dark grey, pouring rain, while sharing the very same sky with bright blue, sunny patches paired with the wind a howling, pushing and demanding movement. Apparently they can all share space together and move through, together as planned. I LOVE that.

That witness brings me great comfort actually. I mean, think about it. How often do we set out on our day, week, month, life plan and have a set of ideas of what it will look like, SHOULD look like anyway. And then something different begins to play out, and our original focus get s a bit clouded. We begin to totally lose sight of it and begin reacting to the new things blowing in. When all of a sudden we remember.... wait... I am supposed to be doing this.."Dang it, I messed up and lost time. I can't believe I messed up again.. I am totally off track.” (Said while waving our hand frantically up in the air answering )"Yes, me, me me... right here, total failure!" Oh, the great slump of defeat.

But friends, look around at the sky. It all exists in the very same air where we take our life giving breath. The very thing that fuels our bodies moves around constantly within all of it. And here is the thing. It still works. It is still a life force. Does that bring anyone else here any comfort?

This is giving me a newfound grace for myself. Yeah... I may move off the path I have set out on but that doesn't take me out of the game... I am still in it and moving forward. I am still creating a journey to be shared, valued, respected and it is POWERFUL + LIFE-GIVING. I am excited to be learning how to navigate better - I think that comes with the balance of: slowing down, inhaling + praying. Yes, I am at the helm... setting the ship to sail in a certain direction. Yes the weather, currents and tides impact and aid or redirect me. But let's keep it real for a minute. God ultimately has the full authority over all: me, my life, my circumstances and whatever else has impact on my plans. And I love that! It brings a newfound freedom and excitement to see what adventures we will be taking together. I can relax a bit in the process of having to get it perfectly planned out and just seek His wisdom as I set out for my dream port.

And here is the thing. When we set out to do something and distraction comes our way. When we respond with a negative, I'm good for nothing mind set, what does it accomplish? Well, we are totally taken out of the game. We become a bi-product to defeat which leaves us incapacitated to move forward like a boat with a broken rudder, we are literally at a stop, stuck +hopeless. Oh please hear me, give yourself a break. Let the rays of grace soak into your skin, let your mind recognize the warmth that very grace has to offer. You my dear, simply cannot control everything, and you weren't ever meant to. God knows exactly how your days will count, and you just have to show up in His ask and say YES.

Set out on the course of your dreams, enjoy the distractions, pray through the challenges, find your strengths in the unforeseen adventures. Let’s begin by eliminating our need to steer + control our own ship while getting the wind knocked out of our sails when God re-routes us.

He then reached down from heaven, all the way from the sky to the sea. He reached down into my darkness to rescue me! He took me out of my calamity and chaos and drew me to himself, taking me from the depths of my despair! Even though I was helpless in the hands of my hateful, strong enemy, you were good to deliver me. When I was at my weakest, my enemies attacked— but the Lord held on to me. His love broke open the way and he brought me into a beautiful broad place.
He rescued me—because his delight is in me! Psalm 18:16-19

He DELIGHTS in you. He cares about your journey and has incredible plans for you. Let go of the need to control, relax + trust Him. He has incredible things planned for you. BREATHE it all in. It is a BEAUTIFUL thing, a BEAUTIFUL LIFE, even in the midst of a stormy sea.

Be Well,

Kimber

When the “ABOUT US” changes: dealing with loss

I’m sitting here, in Hawaii. Dreamy right? It stirs up all kinds of romantic notions, yes? However, romance is the last thing on my brain. I’m actually sitting here thinking about how on earth I got here.

Oh, I know that I arrived here on a plane with an airline ticket that I myself purchased. That isn’t what I am referring to. I am talking about how on earth did I end up a middle-aged woman, sitting (possibly wallowing),  in the thick of immense grief. 

GRIEF

GRIEF because 20 months ago my husband was diagnosed with an aggressive form of cancer.  

GRIEF because 12 months ago we found out it was tougher to fight than we thought. 

GRIEF because the next year would be filled to the brim with horrendous battle after exhaustingly unsuccessful battle. 

-GRIEF because six months ago he was SET FREE from the battle. 

But here is the unfortunate thing… I wasn’t. My kids weren’t excused either. The memories still swirl in our brains, poke at our hearts and physically shake us at times. We so wanted a different outcome. We wanted a victory story that would have us all on our feet dancing, singing praises of “Only God could do that.” as we grabbed Dave’s hands and raised them high in adoration. 

As deep as our longings were, as heartfelt as our prayers could have been, that wouldn’t be the conclusion to Dave’s story.

Our “ABOUT US” has changed and it is not what we would have chosen.

I brought my computer with me on this trip because God has made it evidently clear that he has some work for me to do. (I’ll get to that in a future post.) But this is the deal for now… I needed to update this website, and I needed to start with the about page. AND I hate that I am sitting here having to do this. That battlecry part of the story is over and now…. yeah, now what? What the heck am I about? As I go down the list of what used to be there are a lot of boxes to check of “not anymore’s”  - so then what is left? What is going to be? I don’t even know.

I do know one thing: the cancer battle for Dave is over which means the battle of making the memories serve us well is in full force. The battle of choosing to keep going and staying strong. The battle of fulfilling what God has in mind for us to do. YES. Every single day will reveal to us what that looks like. Our job isn’t to think too far out and become overwhelmed, our job is to be present with listening ears and a willing heart… no matter the cost.

God, help us to not waste a morsel of what you intend to use in us and through us. Help us to feel, to process, to pray, to grow closer to you in the thick of it all. Carry us through what we can’t muster the strength to trek on our own. 

I am posting below our old “ABOUT” contents because I don’t want to erase the past journey, I want to embrace it, hold it dear and use it to launch forward. 

(About page 2018/19”

“THE JOURNEY SO FAR

I was talking with my husband the other day about this life we have lived together. Battling cancer as a family has a way of walking you through the years and almost demanding you reflect on your story. Are the pages filled with all that matters? What chapters did we miss? Any we would choose to rewrite? Looking back I would say we have lived a fairly BIG life in our recently turned 50 years. I imagine the rising action and climax in our current storyline would be something people would dream about  happening at some point in their lifetime.

The pages of this website will be riddled with some of the stories of our glorious adventures with family, lake life, racing boats and cars, camping, taking teams to Tanzania and Kenya, partnering with a school in Kibera Slum, working alongside programs in Tanzania that help widows, orphans and young single mamas, starting a nonprofit, overcoming debilitating pain and more. Those are the peaks. Then there are the valleys of abandonment, abuse, anxiety, cancer, a stillborn baby, the division of a family business. The beauty in all of this is the good comes with a natural sparkle but the hard places… they have the ability to shine when you find the beauty in the pain. It’s always there just waiting to be picked up, dusted off and held high. 

My personal story is packed full with this type of rescuing. So, so many stories of being redeemed from the muck and mire covered in the thick weight of my earned distress. When that kind of grace and mercy show up in your life you are pretty eager to sprinkle it around like confetti. 

I hope you find the encouragement and help you are looking for here. We will be posting our upcoming workshops, simple DIY projects, devotions, keto recipes, and random musings along the way. “

Heart + Mind Work